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WonderingBoy777
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Name: David
Birthday: 6/27/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: I love to do whatever is possible. I enjoy music and people. I think that if I did everything there would be nothing new and that life would not have any mysteries.
Expertise: I am only an expert at letting God be the expert
Occupation: Other
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  WonderingBoy777
Member Since:
9/20/2004
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| So, the last time i did this it was ugly, so i don't plan on dumping or venting, just thinking bout the what if's and what not's I just watched the movie juno. Honestly a thousand thoughts go through my head when i watch a movie like that. The impact of teen pregnancy is bigger then i can really i even try to comprehend. I have never had a real girlfriend, although I will confess if have a couple close calls, but nothing serious. I The whole are of relationships, dating, marriage, children, is something that is extremely intimidating yet something inside you is gravitated towards it. Every guy has that need to figure something and I think this vast area of mystery pretty much leaves us pursuing it for the rest of our lives. So by now you are wondering where I am going with this, and the funny thing is I am not going anywhere. I am as single as they get and I am still working out the whole college/career thing. The thing that really intrigued me in the movie is the honesty of Juno, the pregnant girl (for those who haven't seen it). I am just not used to someone being that honestly blunt all the time. Granted it was fake character in a movie, but to imagine a real person like that brings two emotions. The first being, awkward. The second being an insatiable desire for more. Sometimes I would kill just to say what's going on my head, but knowing that honestly would cause world war three i keep my mouth shut. But to live in the truth so much that people expect it from me and don't cringe but embrace it, now thats hot. But then again, life isn't like that, but maybe it could be.... Right now I'm thinking about the options I have for this summer. Alot of different directions I could go. Whatever happens, I really don't like the place that I am at so any change is good. My brother, joshua, is getting married. Its the first wedding I'll have been to since before the HA. Thats 4+ yrs. I'm excited about it, but come on. Lets be honest. Us nonmarried folks all have a million thoughts going through our head about how we wish we were the ones walking down the eye, looking across at a thing of beauty who wants to see the world with us. Kinda sappy eh? Thats life... Oh I've learned alot from the people around me and I know my time will come, but in the mean time, well, lets just say it feels like there's a lot of mean time. Just being honest D'Lloyd Out!! (MT just think of Zach/Jonn when reading that line and you will get the picture)
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| So I would like to start off by saying, I'm sorry for venting on xanga/facebook in my previous blog. I was very upset and would never consider it appropriate to do something like that. That said....
I am currently in Lindale, TX hangin out with some friends from Teen Mania Ministries. It has been a good vacation and I have realized alot of things being here. It has also been emotional. I have been overwhelmed with the urge to stay but I know i have to go home soon and am ready to go home with a purpose.
At home i have been very busy. Working at panera bread co. almost full time, going to school full time, and somehow squeezing in church and friends. This is not an easy things. I know washing dishes and doing algebra is not what i want to do with the rest of my life but it is a stepping stone to the goal.
Family has been good. Never a dull moment at home. I am still learning to be patient with the ones i love. Not an easy task.
As for the summer. Who knows. So many options. So little time.
As always, thanks for another day God and please help me make it to the next
God Bless
D'Lloyd
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| Well, I'm not one to blog. I don't like the idea of venting to the world. I do however, need to say something loud and clear so that the world knows where i stand. I will tell you a story and you think what you want but its me....
I woke up this morning to the snow falling on a wednesday. The first part means i don't have school. The second part means i don't have work. This means i have a free day from the two biggest commitments in my life. With this new found joy i rolled over and went back to sleep. Today was spent reading and studying and whatever i wanted.
But another unexpected thing happened.
I talked to an HA alumni. Now under the circumstances i was glad to have enough time to have a real conversation, but what i didn't expect was for my character to be challenged by someone who doesn't live anywhere close to me and doesn't really know me for who I am. I explained that life changes, people change, circumstances change, and thus I change. Regardless of these circumstances I am still living for God and strive to love God and love people. That said, i was provoked to think about this conversation the rest of the day. And when i thought the day was going to be easy and relaxing, the unexpected happened again.
I was sitting at panera bread, eating my soup and working on my homework when i got an call. My friend, who shall remain nameless, need ride to pick up his car. His mom hit something and now it had a flat tire. His mom left his car, which was in a bad part of town i might add, and we were left to go fix it. When he asked me to help him I didn't even think twice about it, i simply grabbed my stuff and headed off down the road. Two hours later we were in a neighborhood trying to desperately to get the last bolts of his car so that we could put on the spare. It was cold and snowing and was shaking all over. Eventually we finished the job and I headed home. I could have given any excuse and come up with all the reason's of why I shouldn't have to do stuff like that, but its all just excuses. Fact is, I wanted to be there. To experience it. To feel alive. In the moment of pain I just wanted to love.
If you want to question my walk. Go ahead. If you want to say that I'm now what I should be. I don't care. If you say I'm just like everyone else. You're absolutely right. I'm more concerned about helping someone out in there time of need then being all cozy by the fire reading some bible story. If thats your thing, great. But my thing is doing the hard things, giving up when it hurts and helping, despite what i think i need or want.
The Lord is the only one who sees my heart and questions it.
So who are you to question me?
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| do you ever have those times in your life when you feel like you are looking at yourself in 3rd person view, likea movie, and you are wondering, "Surely its going to get more exciting then this...?" I feel like i should be doing more, but i don't know what. I have all this restless energy and desire but i feel like im trapped. Im reading the barbarian way, which is definately affecting my mood right now and just want to go somewhere and be the person i really want to be. I miss trying to not worry about where im going to sleep and when im going to get the next shower. I miss not being able to sleep and getting up feeling like i get hit by a truck with out the option of a sick day. I mean come on, sick, on a load-in day, yeah right. As much as the road took everything i had and through it out the window, i really miss it. Now that I have everything that could make me comfortable, im not. I don't understand why God made this way. I always just wanted a normal life. a nine to five job. fishing every now and then. a house. a family. But right now more then anything, I just want to the pain and pressure. Is that sick? To miss the chaos and demands of the internship. Now please don't take this out of context. TM was a season and i don't regret being here. I don't plan on going back for quite a while. But I just need a breakthrough. A chance to really be more edgy, more loud, more bold. But its diffrent with family. You just can't be real. Its pretty stupid huh, that you can't be real with your family, but hey, life isn't a piece of cake. I may be way off will alll of this, but i felt i needed to say it so, comment if you feel like it. | | |
| After months of consideration, I have decided to post entries on on my xanga site. Thank all for your time and effort. | | |
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